Life(isn't)Peachy
by BabyGirlJ
Summary: Buffy dies. Spike's to blame. 4 years later Dawn finds Spike. PLEASE R/R!!!!


**Title:**Life (isn't) Peachy

**Author:**BabyGirlJ

**Rating: **R 

**Spoilers: **All of season six.

**Disclaimer:**I don't anything except the paper and pencils used to write this story. BtVS belongs to Joss Whedon, UPN, Fox, and ME. 

**Summary:  **Can't think of a good summary without spoiling it all… 

**Author's Note**:  I have a good idea where I'm going with this story but if you have any ideas, feel free to say so!

**Feedback:**Please!!! I'm going to beg. I don't usually write so I'd like to hear what you have to say. 

**Prologue**

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August 2002 

_Her funeral was today. We didn't have to bury her in a secluded spot this time. This time she won't be coming back. She didn't die of supernatural causes. She didn't die doing her duty. She died from stupidity. I'm mad at her for leaving me. Leaving without saying goodbye. At least last time I knew she loved me. This time I'm not so sure. She's only been gone for a week, but it feels like months. She was gone long before she died. _

_After a month of waiting for Spike to come back she gave up. I think it's his fault this happened. If he hadn't been so stupid and left. Or if he at least came back, everything would be normal. Or as close to normal as Sunnydale can get. She loved him. She told me everything that happened between them from them having sex to him attempting to rape her. Afterwards she broke down and as I comforted her she told me she loved him… that she didn't think she could live without him. I didn't know what to do so I just listened to her cries and prayed he'd come back. _

_He hasn't. I don't think he will. If he does come back, I'll make sure he feels the pain I'm feeling right now. It's his fault she's dead._

_Guess you wanna know how she died, right? Suicide. Not a demon, a supernatural cause, but suicide. She waited two months for Spike to come back, and every day she slipped further away from me. It was like she was dying so slowly. But, in reality she died in an_

_instant. She probably didn't even know what was happening. I didn't know it either. I would have never guessed my sister, Buffy Anne Summers, would do drugs. I couldn't believe it when I found out._

_What's even worse is how I found her. She was in the bathroom with a needle sticking out of her arm. At first I was confused and I didn't know what to do. Then when reality kicked in I ran downstairs and grabbed the phone. About five minutes later the paramedics showed up and she was already gone. She over dosed on heroine._

_I cried for days afterwards. I tried to be strong. I tried to understand why she did it. It wasn't until a few days after I found them. There were seven envelopes. They were addressed to Xander, Willow, Giles, Spike, Anya, Angel, and I. By the looks of it, she knew she was going to die. She had planned it all out. This only made it harder on me. _

_Everyone got his or hers, except Spike of course. I placed his in the pocket of his duster. The duster she was wearing when I found her. I haven't opened his letter, I don't think I will, maybe if I see him again I'll give it to him. That's if I ever see him. I don't know who to be madder at Buffy, because she's gone or Spike, because it's his fault. _

_I don't know what she wrote to the others, but I know what she wrote to me, and because of it, I'm going to go on. She'll live forever in my heart and memory. I know that now. I can live with it, and that's exactly what I'm going to do… live. She'd be proud if she knew that. I miss her. I'll always miss her. But, I have Giles now. And I have her friends. We have each other and she is going to keep living on within our memory and us. I love you Buffy. _

Dawn quickly closed her diary and placed it in her bedside table. She had school tomorrow… she began her sophomore year at the new Sunnydale High School. She called goodnight to Giles. And then turned out the light so she could sleep. Tomorrow was her big day.

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A/N: I will be updating this soon! Like, possibly tomorrow soon! J


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